In the last few months,
black women and their relationships
– or ought I state, absence thereof – being obtaining plenty of interest.
The Arizona Article
has been doing a couple of characteristics about it. Then ABC’s

Nightline

did a tv series inquiring just why there are a lot of unmarried black colored females.

Out of the blue the popular news is actually taking an enthusiastic desire for our really love physical lives. We’re being told that there’s a ‘crisis’ amongst black colored ladies, particularly knowledgeable professional females, who will be evidently incapable of get a hold of a ‘decent’ black guy.

There’s really no doubt that it is a subject that sparks heated up debates and talks amongst black men and women. It’s for decades. But is it really that poor? Or perhaps is the mass media – now that it offers found a hot subject – exploiting this matter for many it’s well worth? I am an informed black colored woman and I also actually haven’t any problem with meeting suitable, informed, fantastic black males. Whether or not we decide to go out all of them is an additional thing, however they are on the market.

I’m significantly perturbed by the slew of stories about subject. They’ve been adverse, unhelpful and only are designed to perpetuate negative tips about black colored people which frequently become self-fullfiling. They generally say ‘oh, poor black colored women. They try so hard however cannot find a great man … Boo hoo, black colored women are victims. Ooh, it really is all of the error of the pathetic black colored guys. You realize, they usually have no education or tend to be locked-up in prison.’ Sorry, but I do not contribute to that view.

Many reasons exist exactly why black ladies are unmarried. And it’s maybe not due to the black colored man. Perhaps not having individual obligation nor coping with unexplored luggage through the last performs a whole lot more of a role than all of us believe. We women can be not all the simply saints who have to battle against terrible men. Way too many folks women believe that a
higher degree and a beneficial income
tend to be enough to create you fantastic friends. As I’ve written prior to, we
women are not subjects in internet dating
and it’s completely disempowering for all of us purchase into these kind of shows and articles which profit from perpetuating the theory that we are.

As a single black colored girl i am actually more interested in hearing from cheerfully hitched black colored partners as to how they came across and the thing that makes all of them tick. We

Michelle and Barack Obama

, a lovely joyfully married black couple when you look at the White House. Why can not we give attention to the way we can emulate partners such as that?

Listen to

Dr Boyce Watkins

and that I chat this issue away and write to us how you feel.